What is cool?

The media is always trying to tell us what is cool. But what do you think is cool?
For me cool is an olive drab safari hat. Cool is sandles in the summer. Cool is...
tell me.

Ho, Ho, Ho

Police Arrest Nude Man Stuck in ChimneyApr 24 6:42 PM US/Eastern Email this story

HAYWARD, Calif.
A man who spent five hours naked and stuck in the chimney of his stepmother's home was arrested on suspicion of being under the influence of drugs, police said.
Police say Michael Urbano, 23, locked himself out of the house early Saturday morning and decided to get in on a cable TV wire through the chimney.
But the wire broke and Urbano fell, getting stuck about three-quarters of the way down. He was freed when a firefighter pushed him to safety.
"We get him up, and he's naked as a jaybird," said Hayward police Lt. Gary Branson. "He tells us he took his clothes off because there would be less friction going down the chute. We did find his clothes. So that part checked out."

He was arrested on SUSPICION of being under the influence of drugs? Exactly what fricition was he avoiding ;)

What's in a name?

I noticed something again today. I don't know if this happens throughout the world, but its very common in the States. I was behind a Chevy truck. The tailgate said Chevrolet, the sticker said ,"Joe Bob's Chevy Central on the Parkway," so I safely assumed the truck was a Chevy. But just in case I was unsure, there was a giant Chevy symbol in the window with Hearbeat of America written inside. As I passed, in case I didn't see the Chevy symbols on the front or sides, a giant white-lettered Chevrolet was across the top of the front windshield.

You see this all the time, on all cars, not just Chevys. I wonder why we're so taken with being associated with a particular brand? How strange that we pay a company to advertise their products. Clothes are even worse. We pay 50 bucks (at least some people do) for a shirt of low quality just for the name on the front.

This is nothing new, it just hits me from time to time. What name brands do you swear by? One of mine is North Face. See I'm guilty of what I just complained about. But my North Face shirts are of very high quality!

Church Bulletin Errors

You know the papers handed out in most protestant churches? Bulletins, they are called. Take a look at some honest, yet funny mistakes.:)

Bulletin Bloopers

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”

A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.


Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.

Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

I've seen some of these before, but a few were new. I laugh everytime..

If I did it different, would it matter?

I often wonder if for each person, there are pivotal moments in their lives where the decision made affects them for years or maybe for their whole lives. I'm not talking about the major life events, like death, marriage etc. But the little ones that you never forget.

One that comes to mind for me was when I was in the sixth grade. On that fine spring day, the teachers were playing the students in baseball. I and one of my friends weren't playing so we stood down by the bottom of right field to play a little catch. One of the boys playing, said we ought to move because we were too close to the action. We responded that we weren't bothering anything. Another player was nearby and told the one that had spoken to us that he ought to go and kick our ass. So we said we would move and the boy told us to run...And we did.

When I look back on this event, I often wonder if I should have done something different. Yes, the other boy was bigger than me, yes I was afraid of him and yes he would have kicked my ass, but maybe I should have let it get kicked. Would I have been better off to stand my ground instead of giving way? Has that affected the way I have handled conflict since?

I remember Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption saying "It's a terrible thing, being afraid." And it is. I'm not so scared now but its taken a good many years to get to this point.

Should I have stood my ground? I wish I had, I really do, the bruises would have healed much faster than it took to heal my self-respect. It is terrible to be afraid, even worse, is regret.

Proclaim Easter

Credo in Deum Patrem omnipotentem; Creatorem coeli et terrae. Et in Jesum Christum, Filium ejus unicum, Dominum nostrum; qui conceptus est de Spiritu Sancto, natus ex Maria virgine; passus sub Pontio Pilato, crucifixus, mortuus, et sepultus; descendit ad inferna; tertia die resurrexit a mortuis; ascendit ad coelos; sedet ad dexteram Dei Patris omnipotentis; inde venturus (est) judicare vivos et mortuos. Credo in Spiritum Sanctum; sanctam ecclesiam catholicam; sanctorum communionem; remissionem peccatorum; carnis resurrectionem; vitam oeternam. Amen.

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, the Creator of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord: Who was conceived of the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. The third day He arose again from the dead. He ascended into heaven and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty, whence He shall come to judge the quick and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.

May God bless you this Easter weekend.

Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again.

School days, golden rule days.

In the early 70's, I went to kindergarten in rural Florida. I remember one fine spring day waiting to board the bus to go home. A small dog was running around and all the kids were taking turns petting it. When one of the buses pulled forward the dog darted under the wheel and was run over. Yelping loudly, the dog flopped about, a piece of bone sticking out of its leg. The principle came out, took one look and told the teachers to take us around to the other side of the school. As we were walking, I looked back and the principle had come back with his pistol. One loud BOOM later we back, boarded our buses and went home.

I wonder what would happen if that type of action was taken today?

1) PETA would protest and call for the priciples firing.
2) CNN et. al. would provide 24 coverage entitled "Our Schools Under Fire"
3) Parents would pull their kids from the school.
4) Grief counselors would be called in to help us with our destroyed emotional state.
5) A class action lawsuit would be filed for a 100 million dollars to help these emotionally destroyed kids cope.
6)The principle would be fired.

But when I think back I realize that no one was emotional destroyed by this event. The principle was simply putting a suffering animal out of its misery. I also think this: no one probably messed with this principle.

I wonder if kids were tougher then. Back then if you got out of line you got paddled and you feared your teacher, especially the principle. To be sent to the priciple was a fate worse then death. Now parents have give "permission" for their kids to be paddled. And, of course, the kids who act the worse are never to be paddled. I wonder if we've not gone to far the other way. When there was wholesale paddling, test scores were better, schools were safer and teachers were more respected. I do know this, when I was growing up their were no school shootings. Maybe that's because my principle had a pistol in his drawer.

Is failure an option?

I think, in fact I know, that I am failing in my spiritual walk. Sunday I went to church and it was confirmation Sunday. This is where young people go through a six week class and then at the end are baptized. So all these kids go up front with their parents and their mentors and the preacher has something nice to say about each as he baptizes them. Once again, I feel like someone staring in through the window. I like the church I'm going to, they still have a traditional service, which I prefer, but this church like the others before it, leave me feeling left out and on the outside. I try to get involved but when I do, nothing goes as I had pictured it. I usually find myself off to the side watching the others interact and talk. Since many don't have this problem, the problem must be within me. I'm sure it's easier to go to church where your family goes, but none of my family go to church in my area so I don't have that support.

Maybe it's because I keep sinning. Yes, I know everyone sins...But I sin willfully. These aren't the murder etc sins, but bad enough. I tell myself I won't do them anymore and sometimes go weeks without doing them, but in the end I always do. Willfull sin is unforgivable, is it not? To be forgiven, you must go and sin no more, and have repentance. I know what I'm doing when I decide to sin but do it anyway. I think about this often, and I wonder is it possible to be predestined to be unsavable.

Consider:

1>God is omniscient, correct? This means He lives in all times: past, present and future. If this is true, and I believe it is, then God already knows if I will be saved or not. This means, logically, that He may already know I am unsavable. There is a possibility then that no matter what I do, I will fail to achieve Grace.

2>People cannot control the place or condition of their birth. I was born Anglo, with a semi-Christian upbringing. Is it not natural that I would persue Christianity? It certainly is more likely than Kareem who was born to Muslim parents. Is it not natural that he would reject Christianity in favor of his families religion? And by rejecting Christianity has he not damned himself?

You could argue that in both cases you could have an unsavable person. I think most Christians believe that everyone is savable, but what do you think? Is there such a thing as someone who can't be saved? I hope not, but I'm tired of being a sinner and I pray God will give me strength to resist the temptations of this world.

Suicide: An essay

Recently I've been in some conversations about suicide and I felt compelled to expand on some of the comments I've made. Why am I qualified to discuss suicide? Some years ago, I made a legitimate attempt to kill myself. I say legitimate because I didn't stand around talking about it nor did I make scratches on my wrist for attention, instead I took a mega-dose of pills. When I closed my eyes that night I truly believed I would never wake up again. I did wake up though, around three in the morning and was violently ill. While I am no longer suicidal, I still find myself wondering why I wished to end my life.

Why is suicide a mortal sin?
I'm sure you know or have heard that suicide is one of the unforgivable sins. The question is why? You have heard judge not least you be judged. Today's society has bastardized this quote. Now we are told we are not to judge other peoples behavior. This, of course, is a fallacy. We are to judge evil for what it is and while we are told to forgive that doesn't mean people who do wrong are not to face consequences. What we are not to judge are those things that fall directly under God's purview. This would include the disposition of an individuals soul (don't judge someone to hell) and the ending of life. This would include murder, abortion and of course suicide. When we choose to end our lives, we usurp God's fundamental authority. We, in fact, raise ourselves to God's level and this is where we mortally sin.

That's Mr. Suicide to you.
Suicide should be thought of as an entity. If you are contemplating suicide, it is crucial that you think in these terms. Suicide has a ferocious appetite and actually thinks of himself as a type of god. He craves followers and will get them any way he can. One must never give suicide a foothold. He is crafty and his appeal is not unlike that of religion. You're depressed, he offers you relief, you're exhausted and he offers you rest, you can't face another day-you don't have to. In short, suicide deceptively offers you a place free of stress, tears and worry. He doesn't of course show the utter destruction he leaves in his wake.

My friend, Suicide
Having attempted suicide, I have been able to see him for whathe is, a grotesque, groping creature that offers "peace" with a twisted, deformed hand. I have the advantage of having walked with him and surviving. If you're reading this and are contemplating suicide, you really won't know what I'm talking about unless you try it yourself and happen to survive. Why not just take my word for it. I've strolled hand in hand with death, but you don't have to. Does suicide say he's your friend? He's lying, and now I know so. He used to be a companion and I must admit he sometimes tickles me a little. I don't mind. Now he's like an annoying upstairs neighbor that jumps up and down shaking the light fixtures. He used to bother me but now I'm used to it.

He leaves me messages...but I never call him back. Is your phone ringing? Don't answer, he'll hang up after awhile. After all, there's plenty of other people to call.

Wasting Time Blogging

I don't why I'm spending my time surfing the Blogs, making comments etc. If I have time to write this, I have time to work on THE BOOK. THE BOOK is almost finished but I've stopped writing and now all my characters are standing around twiddling their thumbs wondering what to do next.

I've spent about a year creating this work and now, tens of thousands of words and many chapters later, all I need is one more chapter so I can finally say, "THE BOOK is finished." I find my self in a quandary. I'm constantly thinking about that last chapter and the more time that passes the guiltier I feel. I want to be done, but I will not make myself sit down and finish.

I think I'm a little scared. Is that odd? Maybe, but right now I am still working on THE BOOK. When people see me at the computer and ask what I'm doing, I can airily reply, "Oh, nothing, just doing a little work on my BOOK." No one asks to see yourBOOK while your working on it, they want to see it when it's finished. That's the real issue, isn't it. Right now, as a work in progress, THE BOOK doesn't have to be all that good. I can tell myself all will improve when I edit THE BOOK. But when the work is done, I'll have to show THE BOOK to other people and then I may discover a dirty little secret. THE BOOK just isn't any good.

I think I'm a little scared.

I hope that's more the case than being a little lazy. I really hope so. Tonight, I think I'll work on THE BOOK. Maybe. Sure I will, but then maybe I'll watch TV.

I hope I'm just a little scared.