Suicide: An essay
Recently I've been in some conversations about suicide and I felt compelled to expand on some of the comments I've made. Why am I qualified to discuss suicide? Some years ago, I made a legitimate attempt to kill myself. I say legitimate because I didn't stand around talking about it nor did I make scratches on my wrist for attention, instead I took a mega-dose of pills. When I closed my eyes that night I truly believed I would never wake up again. I did wake up though, around three in the morning and was violently ill. While I am no longer suicidal, I still find myself wondering why I wished to end my life.
Why is suicide a mortal sin?
I'm sure you know or have heard that suicide is one of the unforgivable sins. The question is why? You have heard judge not least you be judged. Today's society has bastardized this quote. Now we are told we are not to judge other peoples behavior. This, of course, is a fallacy. We are to judge evil for what it is and while we are told to forgive that doesn't mean people who do wrong are not to face consequences. What we are not to judge are those things that fall directly under God's purview. This would include the disposition of an individuals soul (don't judge someone to hell) and the ending of life. This would include murder, abortion and of course suicide. When we choose to end our lives, we usurp God's fundamental authority. We, in fact, raise ourselves to God's level and this is where we mortally sin.
That's Mr. Suicide to you.
Suicide should be thought of as an entity. If you are contemplating suicide, it is crucial that you think in these terms. Suicide has a ferocious appetite and actually thinks of himself as a type of god. He craves followers and will get them any way he can. One must never give suicide a foothold. He is crafty and his appeal is not unlike that of religion. You're depressed, he offers you relief, you're exhausted and he offers you rest, you can't face another day-you don't have to. In short, suicide deceptively offers you a place free of stress, tears and worry. He doesn't of course show the utter destruction he leaves in his wake.
My friend, Suicide
Having attempted suicide, I have been able to see him for whathe is, a grotesque, groping creature that offers "peace" with a twisted, deformed hand. I have the advantage of having walked with him and surviving. If you're reading this and are contemplating suicide, you really won't know what I'm talking about unless you try it yourself and happen to survive. Why not just take my word for it. I've strolled hand in hand with death, but you don't have to. Does suicide say he's your friend? He's lying, and now I know so. He used to be a companion and I must admit he sometimes tickles me a little. I don't mind. Now he's like an annoying upstairs neighbor that jumps up and down shaking the light fixtures. He used to bother me but now I'm used to it.
He leaves me messages...but I never call him back. Is your phone ringing? Don't answer, he'll hang up after awhile. After all, there's plenty of other people to call.
Why is suicide a mortal sin?
I'm sure you know or have heard that suicide is one of the unforgivable sins. The question is why? You have heard judge not least you be judged. Today's society has bastardized this quote. Now we are told we are not to judge other peoples behavior. This, of course, is a fallacy. We are to judge evil for what it is and while we are told to forgive that doesn't mean people who do wrong are not to face consequences. What we are not to judge are those things that fall directly under God's purview. This would include the disposition of an individuals soul (don't judge someone to hell) and the ending of life. This would include murder, abortion and of course suicide. When we choose to end our lives, we usurp God's fundamental authority. We, in fact, raise ourselves to God's level and this is where we mortally sin.
That's Mr. Suicide to you.
Suicide should be thought of as an entity. If you are contemplating suicide, it is crucial that you think in these terms. Suicide has a ferocious appetite and actually thinks of himself as a type of god. He craves followers and will get them any way he can. One must never give suicide a foothold. He is crafty and his appeal is not unlike that of religion. You're depressed, he offers you relief, you're exhausted and he offers you rest, you can't face another day-you don't have to. In short, suicide deceptively offers you a place free of stress, tears and worry. He doesn't of course show the utter destruction he leaves in his wake.
My friend, Suicide
Having attempted suicide, I have been able to see him for whathe is, a grotesque, groping creature that offers "peace" with a twisted, deformed hand. I have the advantage of having walked with him and surviving. If you're reading this and are contemplating suicide, you really won't know what I'm talking about unless you try it yourself and happen to survive. Why not just take my word for it. I've strolled hand in hand with death, but you don't have to. Does suicide say he's your friend? He's lying, and now I know so. He used to be a companion and I must admit he sometimes tickles me a little. I don't mind. Now he's like an annoying upstairs neighbor that jumps up and down shaking the light fixtures. He used to bother me but now I'm used to it.
He leaves me messages...but I never call him back. Is your phone ringing? Don't answer, he'll hang up after awhile. After all, there's plenty of other people to call.
posted by Death Warmed Over | 9:33 PM
7 Comment:
Placing oneself at the same level as God would seem to be blaspheme wouldn't it? Since the "conventional wisdom" is that suicide is a mortal sin, the topic seemed worth exploring. The irony is that when you use my own arguement (that eternal judgement is God's domain) you can't say that people who kill themselves will go to hell!
An old preacher I had summed it up perfectly, "The people in heaven are going to be just as suprised to see you, as you are to see them."
Open questions:
If suicide is a sin, CAN you be forgiven after the fact?
If I shoot an intruder, is that murder?
I'm butting in here...but I guess that is what blogging is all about! :) Weird that I just posted a blog about death last night, and how little I understand it. BUT...both of your replies (which were good and well thought out) seem to treat death as an end...
and there is no end. We live on in one state or another. Eternally in the presence of God or banished from Him. Doc-t is correct in his statement about the unforgiveable sin, once forgiven and accepted into Christ...always.
However...DWM makes an excellent point too about the taking of ones life being Gods right and not ours. But, even in your own case, by your own admission...you survived. Not because you wanted to, but because it was NOT you time to go yet. I'd say, no matter what, God has all the control. ANd for what it's worth, I am glad He wanted you to stick around.
-Cora :)
hey dwo - is this a new venture, and why have i only just discovered this blog?
'unforgiveable sin' is one of those hogwash terms thrown about in the media - they are meaningless. It all simply comes down to one thing - acceptance of God's grace.
dwo - yes, it is an act of challenging God's judgement, but of you came out of it - you get another chance. God understands human weakness and can wipe them clean if you come out in the end.
murder of any sort is murder. In principle it is putting your life ahead of that of another person. Taking your life in terminal illness is not seeing through the road God took for you.
I'm not saying everyone must or even should take this road - but that is the direction and ethics behind these concepts in Christianity.
Its not about when you die - its about how you go.
I yield the remander of my time to my Right Honorable friend from Australia.
I am tempted by that demon more than I can say, and I too, had an attempt in which I barely survived--in fact, everyone said I should have been dead, but I made it. It's so hard: depression is my enemy--I just can't stand that pain and I'd do anything to get away from it. But then I see my son and I think: I can't do this to him. I'll be fucking him up before he even gets a chance to live.
I am not clear on how Jesus views suicides; I know what the Church says, but most Christians don't like me, even the ones who know that I am one--I'm too damn unconventional. I tend to agree more with the existentialists; it's our life to fuck up as we wish. Doc-T makes a good point, but is suicide murder or a solution to pain, albeit a bad one? People are very harsh on suicides, yet the rate just keeps growing--I have known many people who have taken their life or have a member in their family who have done the same. So what really is going on?
Good blog, by the way.
Suicide is one hungry critter. I think its safe to say that in His day, Jesus was rather unconventional. Thanks for stopping by.
While I never took it that far, I dreamed of death when I was younger, truth is Suicide seems like it will offer peace, but if you are dead you won't experience that. I'm much much happier now. The rough times will pass. they always do. So if anyone is reading this and is suicidal, please, keep fighting. There are better times to come.
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