If I did it different, would it matter?
I often wonder if for each person, there are pivotal moments in their lives where the decision made affects them for years or maybe for their whole lives. I'm not talking about the major life events, like death, marriage etc. But the little ones that you never forget.
One that comes to mind for me was when I was in the sixth grade. On that fine spring day, the teachers were playing the students in baseball. I and one of my friends weren't playing so we stood down by the bottom of right field to play a little catch. One of the boys playing, said we ought to move because we were too close to the action. We responded that we weren't bothering anything. Another player was nearby and told the one that had spoken to us that he ought to go and kick our ass. So we said we would move and the boy told us to run...And we did.
When I look back on this event, I often wonder if I should have done something different. Yes, the other boy was bigger than me, yes I was afraid of him and yes he would have kicked my ass, but maybe I should have let it get kicked. Would I have been better off to stand my ground instead of giving way? Has that affected the way I have handled conflict since?
I remember Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption saying "It's a terrible thing, being afraid." And it is. I'm not so scared now but its taken a good many years to get to this point.
Should I have stood my ground? I wish I had, I really do, the bruises would have healed much faster than it took to heal my self-respect. It is terrible to be afraid, even worse, is regret.
One that comes to mind for me was when I was in the sixth grade. On that fine spring day, the teachers were playing the students in baseball. I and one of my friends weren't playing so we stood down by the bottom of right field to play a little catch. One of the boys playing, said we ought to move because we were too close to the action. We responded that we weren't bothering anything. Another player was nearby and told the one that had spoken to us that he ought to go and kick our ass. So we said we would move and the boy told us to run...And we did.
When I look back on this event, I often wonder if I should have done something different. Yes, the other boy was bigger than me, yes I was afraid of him and yes he would have kicked my ass, but maybe I should have let it get kicked. Would I have been better off to stand my ground instead of giving way? Has that affected the way I have handled conflict since?
I remember Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption saying "It's a terrible thing, being afraid." And it is. I'm not so scared now but its taken a good many years to get to this point.
Should I have stood my ground? I wish I had, I really do, the bruises would have healed much faster than it took to heal my self-respect. It is terrible to be afraid, even worse, is regret.
posted by Death Warmed Over | 10:21 AM
4 Comment:
now you're asking the 'if' questions =D
you are not the boy who made the decisons, so you can never make the decisions he would have made then.
point, game, match to fatty.
thankyouverymuch [said elvis style]
;D
If you'd stood your ground, you'd be asking now if you were an idiot for activtly seeking a beating. I think it's ok to stand down. I think that takes a bigger man personally.
Post a Comment
<< Home