Another way to settle the Middle Eastern War
I have been watching the conflict in Lebanon and have wondered if there might be a better way. After much thought I have developed what I call the "Parker Brothers Doctrine." This new and improved strategic doctrine creates the same results without all the blood shed and destruction.
When two or more countries have a conflict they select one of the follow games to settle their differences. For this to work all nuclear weapons would be held by an unbiased 3rd party. If the country that loses doesn't abide by the results they are nuked into oblivion.
Some examples:
Risk: This one is a no brainer. Risk is the ultimate world domination game. Whichever country is occupied at the end of the game looses and must surrender to the other.
World Monopoly: This is basic monopoly updated for current events. Park Place might be the USA, Baltic Ave might be Lebanon etc. "Go" would be the UN. Example: "Go straight to the WTO. Do not pass the UN do not collect 200 Euros."
Twister: Lame on the surface, I know, but imagine the fun watching the leader of Hezbollah and the Israeli Prime Minister both trying to put their left foot on the green circle. Best two out of three gets the West Bank.
Scrabble: I decided to reject this one because when using this one in the middle east no one would ever know if anything was spelled right or not. Is Hekuballalah a word or not? And if you challenge it and you're wrong, you loose your turn.
So as you can see the Parker Brother Doctrine makes much more sense than the current method of destruction and death. How about it?
When two or more countries have a conflict they select one of the follow games to settle their differences. For this to work all nuclear weapons would be held by an unbiased 3rd party. If the country that loses doesn't abide by the results they are nuked into oblivion.
Some examples:
Risk: This one is a no brainer. Risk is the ultimate world domination game. Whichever country is occupied at the end of the game looses and must surrender to the other.
World Monopoly: This is basic monopoly updated for current events. Park Place might be the USA, Baltic Ave might be Lebanon etc. "Go" would be the UN. Example: "Go straight to the WTO. Do not pass the UN do not collect 200 Euros."
Twister: Lame on the surface, I know, but imagine the fun watching the leader of Hezbollah and the Israeli Prime Minister both trying to put their left foot on the green circle. Best two out of three gets the West Bank.
Scrabble: I decided to reject this one because when using this one in the middle east no one would ever know if anything was spelled right or not. Is Hekuballalah a word or not? And if you challenge it and you're wrong, you loose your turn.
So as you can see the Parker Brother Doctrine makes much more sense than the current method of destruction and death. How about it?
posted by Death Warmed Over | 12:08 PM
10 Comment:
I like the death and destruction and bloodshed. I think matters should be solved with a rousing game of chutes and ladders, with chainsaws and flamethrowers substituted for the chutes and ladders. Ties to be decided by no-holds-barred steel cage death matches.
i came to the conclusion, revelation rather, some time ago, that the world was going to hell... now i know grant will be there as our cheersquad.
or maybe they could have huge nerf wars instead.
Hungry Hungry Violent Ethnic groups? Very similar to Hungry Hungry Hippo cept instead of pellets its land in the middle east. Yippe horray! whoops, I posted as the Stickman Archive ID. Sorry.
That should be a skit for SNL...the leaders all playing twister! Ha!
I love it. You shoudl go to the UN and make your case.
You can support your argument with clips from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, in which Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter battle the Grim Reaper in Battleship, Twister, and other such games.
-- david
Grant-or how about candy land where instead of the gumdrop forest it the anti personnel claymore swamp? Or High Ho Cherry O with hand grenades instead of cherries?
Fatty-whatever made you say that? Doesn't everyone like death destruction and bloodshed?
OMW-nerf wars with exploding plastique nerfs?
fresh-i think we need an usm series on this.
BBE-might be funnier than some of the stuff they've been turning out here lately.
David-my favorite part was the electric football game. I had one and it was crap.
That way India and pakistan know they cannot go into a full fledged war. India knows for sure if we target their terrorist camps, they will most probably use nukes. We cannot afford to do that apart from trying for peace talks.
I know I am digressing but so what?
DWO: I could never get mine to work at all!
-- david
Some really good ideas there. I haven't played Risk in years but it's a brilliant game.
I wonder if they ever thought of Paper,scissors, stone ?
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